I want a meter, just like my glucose meter, only one that checks for gumption. Yes, gumption: if you don't know or don't like the word, you can use "pluck" or even "courage". But "pluck" in this sense is pretty passe, maybe even archaic. "Courage" is accurate, but seems to fit more in the context of military personnel, police, fire fighters, and junior high school teachers.
"Gumption" is simply the ability to face up to what one has to do in everyday life. And tonight, my levels are pretty low.
My gumption meter would look a lot like my glucose meter, and would work pretty much the same way. If the target range was the same for my blood glucose, a check tonight might read "43 mg/ml. Check for depression." Then, I might go to my bathroom to take a second test to get a reading as to where a more fundamental reading of my current mood stood.
Tonight, I think I'm basically okay. I'm in a situation that has me outside of my comfort zone, trying to fix a situation that I brought on myself, and needing to call on good friends (bless 'em!) to help me out of it. I've been unable to sleep on a regular schedule for a few weeks: that doesn't help. Anxiety, stress, guilt, fatigue: a perfect scenario for low gumption.
For tonight, I'm going to go care for my neighbor's pooch, and try to go to bed. Tomorrow, the plan to get me out of my situation moves into action: mostly what I need is a little luck, and I'll be past it by the end of the week. My friends are gracious and genuinely willing to help.
A little sleep, a little friendship, a little resolution. I think my gumption meter will be showing target readings really soon.